I think it's apparent that the English and typographical issues in the script did translate to the final product, and while DBZ is supposed to have a corny and janky pacing to it, this pacing was a bit too strange.
Also, I'm confused by "Kakaroto", it was like that in my script so I sent it like that, but I also sent in other versions pronounced as the normal "Kakarot" in case the script was a typo or whatever. I wasn't sure if "Kakaroto" was the officially true manga version or something so I just went with it, but the other times his name was said in the animation, it was all "Kakarot". And this is a perfect example of what went wrong with this product. Consistency.
But it wasn't a trainwreck at all. You did a great job, the characters look right and act with pretty solid accordance to their actual personalities, and the voice actors for this did a righteous job. Enjoyable to watch in my opinion for any DBZ fan. Total dream-mash with an actual story setting for it.
I didn't realize how many lines I was starting with "Hah" as Vegeta until I watched this animation. Way to fuck up everyone's favorite character, SirUndead.
For next time, I think perhaps you should consider running an official script through someone who can proofread and make consistent sense of it all and then just sending that to the voice actors, with clearer indication for what the emotions are and how/why/who we're projecting the line towards. I've worked with a lot of broken English scripts, I think we all have, and while it's never been a REAL problem in my projects, I feel it became a problem in this one potentially due to the sheer number of actors this script went through.
Or maybe I'm just an idiot trying to point fingers to cover up my own meh-tier performance.
To be perfectly clear though, I do love this and look forward to more. Just trying to be constructive I guess. Thanks for including me! I'll be waiting for the next script.